Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
Randomize
