Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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