I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
