chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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