I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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