Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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