I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
