Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All the doctor said was why
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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