it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Randomize
