I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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