your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
