he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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