Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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