Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
