you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
