Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
