We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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