i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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