how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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