she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The dysfunction is strong in this one.