sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
