I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
