Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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