New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
