Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
