whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize