The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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