never play flip cup with pint glasses
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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