I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize