trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.