I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"