you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore