And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.