Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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