I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
