they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
