I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
