You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
