butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
