i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
