Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Watching her eat just hurts me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
