yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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