i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Who died my cat blue again?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
