I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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