Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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