If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
