I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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