I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
