I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
