i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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