i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
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The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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