Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
