He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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