I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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