can we get nightvision for the apartment?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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