on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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