I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
