He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
