Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
