That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
