He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
