they need to just BURY HIM!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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