The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
