he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize