I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
