I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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