I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
