I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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