Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
