if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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