Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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