The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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