"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I forget how to act sober
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
